Live Blogging the MTV Video Music Awards 2009!

If you’re at home watching MTV’s 2009 Video Music Awards and you’re looking for some commentary, you’ve come to the right spot. Kev gave me the go ahead to LIVE BLOG the entire show with my roommates from our pad here in San Diego. Hit the jump at 9pm Pacific Time for the party and feel free to jump in with your comments!

8:46pm Roommates and I have gathered in the living room, accompanied by Stella Artois, Bud Light, Smirnoff, and assorted 40 ouncers. I ignored the text messages and Blackberry Messenger messages telling me about Kanye. Then I blew it by going onto Facebook and seeing EVERYBODY mentioning in their status. This tape delay might be the only bad thing about living in San Diego. Aside from Chargers and Padres fans. I kid, kid

8:51 How old is J-Lo? Old enough for me to drop everything and holler at her with no shame. STILL. I felt this way 10 years ago. She’s great

8:55 Beyonce on the red carpet. Big Julius tried to get gully on a cameraman. Roommate Drew – “She’s SO fine.” Understatement of the year. I dunno how Hova pulled her.

9:00 Game time. Get your popcorn and beer ready

9:01 Madonna’s up. Giving props to Michael and comparing her life to his. Kind of a sad speech.  Way to depress the audience. *reaches for the beer*

9:02 Roommate Mike – “She looks less whorish than usual.”

9:04 Madonna needs to fall back comparing her life to his. You didn’t come under HALF the scrutiny he did

9:08 Live rendition of Thriller? So far so good, the dancers are on. Can’t front, these dudes got gigs

9:09 Smooth Criminal. Can they hit the lean?!

9:11 Dude in the red needs to be kicked out, your lean was WEAK

9:12 Janet! Oh snap! AND SHE’S HITTIN’ IT! Except for the hop-up. But A+++ for effort.

9:14 Katy Perry and Joe Perry for “We Will Rock You”. Joe is killin the guitar. Mike – “Put this in Guitar Hero.” Then Russell Brand comes out. The whole room just started saying a bunch of unprintable words. Brand isn’t popular at this address

9:17 Yo Russell: T-Pain, Slash, Abe Lincoln, and that idiot from my senior prom want their hats back

9:19 Wake me when Russell is done. He makes Dane Cook look funny. That’s pretty hard to do

9:20 Roommates – “Lady Gaga looks like a character from Final Fantasy”

9:21 Wale and UBC = house band. Great, except he performed for 5 seconds. Figures

9:23 Shakira and some guy in a cheap suit are presenting Best Female Video

9:25 Taylor Swift won. I’ve never seen this video. HOW DID BEYONCE NOT WIN?!

9:25 Kanye?!?!? KANYE?!?! KANYE IS A BEAST!!!!!!! WHEN KEEPING IT REAL GOES WRONG

9:30 I’m kind of appalled at Kanye West’s audacity. A less funny of version ODB’s “Wu-Tang is for the children.” But Kanye just said what everyone was thinking. That video is DOPE. Roommate Brandon – “It’s cuz they don’t want Beyonce to sweep, cuz she’s gonna win everything else. It’s a conspiracy.”  We all agree that Kanye spoke America’s mind. Bottom line, Kanye kept it trill

9:36 Best Rock Video presented by Jack Black and someone else. He’s doing some heavy metal comedy skit and praying to Satan. Brandon – “He needs to pray to someone for some better movie roles.”  Green Day won. They were popular when I was in 7th grade, and they’re still kicking. Props

9:40 Brandon – “Why is Taylor Swift wearing a ‘pervert in a movie theater’ jacket? And when was the last time you saw this many good-looking young people on a subway?! And if I’m her, I’m using this opportunity to take shots at Kanye. Don’t let that be me with a microphone after he pulls something like that on me. She should have got up there and said 808s was trash!”

9:44 Roommates – We don’t blame Kanye. We blame MTV for lying to Taylor Swift and telling her her video won. My phone and Facebook are blowing the hell up now that my West Coasters are seeing it

9:49 Lady Gaga is performing now. I’m extremely puzzled as to what the hell we’re watching. Is it bad I’m staring at her underwear trying to figure out the hermaphrodite rumors?

9:52 Where’d that blood come from?! Weeeeiiiirrrddoooooo. I guess she’s appealing to the Twilight crowd

10:02 Nelly Furtado and Kristin Cavalleri. Oh man, Nelly Furtado is hotter every time I see her. KC, take her or leave her. Oh and she spoke in Spanish. I’m in love. They’re presenting Best Pop Video. Let’s see if they make it up to Beyonce…

10:04 Britney won. Drew called it. Where’s Kanye when you need him?

10:05 Adam Brody and Megan Fox are up presenting Green Day. Megan Fox is hot AND crazy. Easily my favorite combination outside of gin and juice. (Hot and crazy, not Adam and Megan. Good catch Xtina)

10:16 It’s the dude with the cheap suit and the people from Twilight. Where’s Blade when you need him?

10:20 Ne-Yo rocking that all-black steez, presenting Beyonce. Get it girl, stunt on ‘em

10:21 *jaws on floor* You’re telling me that didn’t win!?! Beyonce is looking right. Mm mmm

10:31 Drew – “Meadow Soprano can’t walk in her heels.” She and Diddy are presenting. AND THEYRE BOOING KANYE WHEN DIDDY MENTIONS HIM!?!?! They’re presenting Best Male Video. Eminem, Hova, T.I., Kanye, and Ne-Yo are nominated….

10:33 T.I. won for “Live Your Life.”  Too bad he couldn’t be there. I wonder how the award will look in his cell.

10:35 Gerard Butler is presenting Muse. He missed a golden opportunity to shout “This…is…MUSE!!!” and then kick a bystander

10:46 Muse performance and commercial break. STILL. Re-up on the Stella and defending Kanye all over Facebook

10:48 J-Looooo!!!! Presenting Best Hip-Hop Video. We Made You, Right Round (greeted by boos in the living room), Love Lockdown (groan), DOA, I Love College. None of us are sold on any of these.

Brandon – “Who won?”

Drew – “Eminem.”

Brandon – “Over which videos?”

Mike – “Nothing, basically.”

Boom. Roasted.

10:58 Tracy Morgan and Eminem are presenting  Best New Artist.  Stop singing Tracy. It’s 30 Rock or nothing for you!  Lady Gaga won.  And managed to look like the Queen of Hearts on LSD

11:00 Serena Williams!  Presenting Pink. Did anyone see her at the US Open? The entire house referenced a specific episode of The Boondocks to describe Serena the other day.  Real talk, so far, this show has been dry outside of the Kanye episode. Props to Pink though, singing upside down is probably pretty hard to do

11:11 Jimmy Fallon and Andy Samberg presenting Video of the Year. I give it 20 secs until Jimmy Fallon starts laughing at his own jokes into the camera.

11:12 Single Ladies (whoo!), We Made You, Poker Face, Love Lockdown, and Womanizer. So Taylor Swift won Best Female Video and wasn’t even nominated for Video of the Year? Word. Anyway, Beyonce won. Chuuch! And Lady Gaga is wearing a nest on her face.  And Bey just called Taylor Swift onstage to have her moment. Way to be classy (or sell out Kanye, however you look at it. Roommates – “Kanye, re-snatch that s***!!”)

11:22 Hova is in the building! Alicia Keys, too! Performing that Empire State of Mind track, my personal fav off of BP3. Nice intro, too. Why does Hova sound like Ja Rule. Take a throat lozenge!

11:25 I hate Swizz Beatz right now. No way that ugly mug should be with Alicia. She looks GOOD tonight

11:27 Ugh no more shots of Lady Gaga. PLEASE.

11:28 Michael Jackson footage? Hey now!

11:30 MJ in rehearsal > better than your favorite entertainer.  Show’s over, and my roommates are arguing about Beethoven and Michael Jackson. Brandon – “Forget Beethoven. He ain’t doing anything for me. Hell Rell doesn’t listen to Beethoven!”

So that’s the 2009 VMAs.  Surely, Kanye will the hot topic over the next few days, and I’m sure he’d have it no other way.  I feel bad for Taylor Swift, poor girl.  She didn’t deserve that, at all.  But oh well, that’s Kanye for you.  It’s only a matter of time before Jim Jones or somebody snuffs him for talking all that good stuff. But until next year, PEACE!